Browsing Category: Personal

Ignoring the Skeptics

Bob van Aubel


Bob van Aubel

So now that I am on this new life journey I have started encountering the skeptics. Now I am also ignoring those skeptics, but it is so hard to do when you are constantly hearing doubt in people’s voice and seeing doubt in their faces. Then they want to question your life. Hey look! I don’t have it all figured out. Clearly I don’t, but I’m trying to make moves and make it right.

The skeptics also get on my nerves because they have a way of trying to show their skepticism in subtle ways that are actually not so subtle. URGHGHGH!!! I hate that! It is so hard to ignore that skeptics, but that is really what I am trying to do. I just keep telling myself my new mantra, “It is my time, and I am ready for the next step!” It keeps me from feeling doubt and helps me to move on with my day. It is really hard, but I seem to be doing a better job than I thought I would. What are you ding to ignore the skeptics?

Photo by Bob van Aubel at

Is Fashion Racist?

Is Fashion Racist

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Is fashion racist? Bethann Hardison, Iman, and Naomi Campbell seem to think so, and I do too.  Fashion people are always trying to say that it is about aesthtics or that this season’s collection needs a certain look. That is complete and utter bullshit, and they know it! Choosing not to use a black girl for looks is a hot mess! Everyone blames everyone, but every single person is to blame. I blame the casting directors, the editors, the model scouts, the designers. They have the opportunity to hire great models from all colors, yet they don’t.

I remember being left in tears after a person in fashion told me to forget about racism in the industry. They shouted me down, and made me feel horrible. He told me that even though he had experienced racism, I should should ignore it and move on.  They fact that he could openly admit to being the victim of racism and not see the need to fight still boggles my mind.

I have no idea what can be done to fight the deep seated ignorance in the industry. I feel like the most important people don’t care enough and see the efforts of Bethann Hardison, Iman, and Naomi Campbell as a huge nuisance. They statements they issued these past few days after Hardison sent out her letter demanding action shows me that they really just don’t give a hoot. It isn’t surprising, but it is still very sad. Even though she lists designers by name, I feel like nothing will get done. What do you all make of all this?


Are You Ready For The Next Step

Nicholas Swanson

Nicholas Swanson

Like I said last week, I am not going to New York Fashion Week. This will be the second season in a row that I am skipping NYFW, but I hope to bring you great coverage anyway. This is the first week of September, and since Labor Day was last weekend I am preparing for fall coverage. I have already started putting more fall coverage here and there on the blog, but if there is something you want to see..let me know in the comments below.

I feel weird not going to fashion week, but I am ready for the next step. I feel like something is missing or empty, but I know that I am making the right choice. I am trying to change certain things in my life and be a better me one step at a time. I found that these weekly ramblings I’ve been doing on the blog are good for the soul.  I started listening to this webinar about manifesting money in my life and the mantra that Denise Duffield-Thomas says is amazing. Breathe in and say this out loud, “It’s my time, and I’m ready for the next step!” The webinar was free, but the life lessons I learned from it were priceless. 

I told one of my friends that mantra yesterday. She too is going through some life changes, and she loved the mantra! I think she will be using it in her day to day life from now on too. Life is kind of like a road that leads to the unknown. We all need to figure out how to be ready for the next step. Are you making changes in your life? If so, what are they?

Photo from Nicholas Swanson and Don’t forget to enter in the $75 Anthropologie Gift Card Contest! Time is running out!

When Is The Right Time To Move On?

When is the right time to move on

When is the right time to move on

When is the right time to move on? I often wonder this question all of the time. When is the right time to move on from places, people, things, dreams? Often times we stick with things because that is all we know or it is something we are used to having in our lives. Sometimes we stick with people, places, and things way past their expiration dates because of tradition or habit. How many times have we said, “I’m still friends with this person because I’ve known them for so long” or ” I still do so and so because my parents did it or it was just something we always did”?

For me breaking away from people is easy. If I feel you are putting negativity in my life, I leave you alone. When it comes to things, it isn’t so easy for me. Even though I work freelance, I have been trying to find a day job to bring in more money. Finding a job is hard, and after a year and a half of rejection I’m starting to think that maybe I should go back to school for my ph.d in decorative arts. I feel like if I do that, I could live and go to school in New York City. I could also try and get an internship at a museum. This is just a thought, but I am realizing that is is time to move on to something else. It is a hard decision, and is one that I am still trying to figure out.

Coming to grips with reality is a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes we can’t face the truth. I think part of moving on is about knowing your truths and realizing that something is not working therefore something has to change. What are you struggling to move away from? Are you liking these more personal blog posts? Let me know if there is a topic you would like for me to write about. Photo from here.

Do You Stop To Smell The Roses? Are You Allergic To Free Time?




Do you stop to smell the roses? Are you allergic to free time? Do you set aside some time during the week to just spend it alone or to relax? I realized that when I make my infinite amount of to-do lists, I never once put free time on there. I put everything else except free time on the list. I have got to do a better job of allotting some time during the week to myself.

Even when I am watching my favorite TV shows, or listening to a podcast, or checking out a beauty technique via YouTube, I am still doing something else that is blog/work related. I need to set out some time in my life to stop, drink some tea, watch a movie without interruptions, and knit or crochet. I also have books to read and workout DVDs to do.

Life is so hectic, and I am still trying to figure out how to manage my time. This has always been a problem. Even when I was young and in school. I had ballet, cello lessons, student council…. I mean who else do you know lettered in student council twice because they got over 1000 service hours? Then there were the summer camps. SMH!

Last week I wrote about setting goals. Maybe this is a new goal that I will successfully set for myself. I will speak it into existence! How do you take the time to stop and smell the roses? Photo from here.

How to Set Goals | It Is Easier Than You Think



Do you know how to set goals? Some people think setting goals is super hard. I think it is actually quite easy once you actually take the time to figure out what you want to achieve.

What is the easiest way to figure out what you want to achieve… Well you have to sit down and meditate. You don’t have to do a bunch of “Ummms” and “Ahhhh” and “Namastes”. All you have to do is sit down in a quiet space and think about your life and what do you want to do. It can be as simple as figure out how or when you want to redecorate your home to how or when you want to move halfway around the world. Make sure you have no interruptions. Turn off you phone. Find a babysitter for the kids. Do what you have to do to find some peace and quiet.

Next filter through your thoughts. One of my personal goals is to send out more magazine article pitches this month. I would sit down and figure out if that is what I want to do. Then I would think about which magazines I want to write for this month. I would also think about what kind of articles I would like to write this month. During each step, I would make sure I had a pen and a notebook handy, so I could write down all of my thoughts.

The next thing I would do is figure out a timeline for making this happen. You can’t successfully complete a goal without setting a tangible goal. Apparently this has been scientifically proven and I believe it! If you don’t set a time frame for your goal, it really won’t happen.

For bigger life goals, I write out things on my vision board or add pictures and phrases. I have been talking about vision boards on this site for years. I’m still waiting on some of the things on my vision board to come true. Some things actually have come true, like graduating from grad school! Vision boards are a great way for you to visualize your dreams and help you plan for your future. I will be updating my vision board in the next few months. Try it out and see what happens.

How are you setting your goals? Have you done a vision board before?

Photo from Poketo.

Self Love or How to Love Yourself

Self Love

Self Love
Today I wanted to talk a little bit about self love or how to love yourself, because at the end of the day, how can anyone love you if you don’t know how to love yourself… That is a food for thought moment, huh? Some people want to wait until someone loves or likes them a little bit first to love themselves. They want to wait until they get contacts, or lose a little more weight, or finally dye their hair to love themselves. Nope! You can’t do that. You have to love yourself now as you are at this very moment, as you used to be, and how you will be in the future.

Why? Well each version of yourself from the past, present, and future is still another version of yourself. You may have regrets. That is human. You may not have liked that thing that you said, or that moment you did something so bad that you would like to forget it. You many not like how you used to look or dress, but that person was still you, and you have to learn to let go, learn from your mistakes, and move on. A lot of people can’t fully love themselves because they are still upset about things in the past. You can’t change the past, but you can use the present to make way for your future.

Growing up I was bullied, verbally and physically, to the point where I cried all the time. I acted out. I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to disappeared. I just wanted to hide and not exist anymore. I was made to feel ugly and bad about my life. I was always a little strange, somewhat weird, and socially awkward. I’ve always been smart too. While my parents had money, we were still far from being rich, but that didn’t make any difference. I got picked on for all of those things, and when they ran out of things to make fun of me for, they made stuff up.

Being bullied really put a damper on my childhood. I had some great, fun moments, but the bullying really hurt me . It really made me feel horrible and I doubted myself. I doubted how I felt, acted, and who I was a person. Then one day I decided to love myself. I decided to embrace all of the flaws and things that make me me.

I love myself regardless of what may or may not be wrong with. They way people feel about you is their opinion. At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, so why not ignore the bullshhhhh and focus on loving you. Like I said before, I love my flaws and the positive things about me too. There are times when someone’s opinion of me can get me down, but because I love myself I am able to get over it more quickly.

Ways I Used to Learn to Love Myself:

1. Decide to love yourself.
2. Tell yourself that you love you everyday.
3. Look in the mirror and embrace the pros and cons that make you you. Yes, even the imperfections!
4. Learn to love your flaws, so that whenever someone mentions them, that person loses their power over you.
5. If you feel there is something you would like to change, change it by setting a goal in a timely matter.
6. Or just accept yourself.

Photo from here.

I’m Going, Going, Back, Back To DC, DC!



So there won’t be posts again until sometime next week, since I am going back to DC for another convention.  Last time I couldn’t get some dim sum. This time I am making it my mission to get some dumplings from the white building right under those arches. Yum! Hopefully, I can get the blog back together since I will only be there a few days instead of a week. Have a great, fun weekend! Be safe and don’t forget about the $140 J. Crew gift card giveaway! Photo from my Instagram!

I’m An Introvert Dammit!



I always say I’m going to write more personal blog posts, but I never do. Well today is the day. I’m an introvert dammit and I feel like I have some things to I need to say, which is weird considering the fact that I am a bonified introvert! It is so annoying being an introvert. It truly is because introverts are some of the most misunderstood people on the face of the Earth. I love myself. I love being me, which means I love my introverted self. The problem is that I live in an extroverted world and living in an extroverted world is hard on the introverted soul.

You see I am constantly having to defend who I am as a person. I am constantly having to tell people what I am about in life because people are convinced that the extroverted way of life is the only way to live. It gets so tired having to defend myself all the time. All I ever hear is Jai you are “too quiet”, “not smiley enough”, “too shy”, ” so sad acting” and “so negative”. Then people are constantly telling me to “be more confident” and to “get out of my shell”. I already have plenty confidence and am already out of my shell. I don’t know how much more confident or out of my shell I could possibly ever be!

And why are people always telling me to be myself and know myself, when I already am myself and I already know myself? Since when did being an introvert or inward with ones self mean that you don’t know who you are are or are true to yourself? And why is it that when I do act like myself, it is a problem? Who came up with these rules for life?

Yet my inward ways and bookish, intellectual nature confuses the hell of of people. They are constantly telling me how I should be. I really wish people would mind their business and stop telling me how to act and live my life. I am not really sure why my behavior is so important to other people.

Apparently my introversion is also the reason why I can’t find a man. I would love to be the bubbly, smiley, over the top girl…but that isn’t me. I can only be myself. Clearly if this is how I have been all of my life, then this is the way God made me. I’m cool with being introverted and socially awkward. Maybe the man who wants the smiley girl won’t look at me? Maybe I don’t actually want to be with the man who wants the smiley girl? Maybe I should just focus on trying to find men who actually like the type of woman I am? I can’t be someone I’m not, and honestly I am so sick and tired of being told that my personality isn’t good enough to be “human” or isn’t the way a “human” should be.

Being an introvert is hard, but I really wouldn’t live my life any other way because this is the only way for me to be. I just wish that society was a little more accepting of us. What are your thoughts on introverts? How are you living life as an introvert, or what is your life like living with an introvert? Photo from Psychology Today.

Don’t forget to enter in the contest for the $140 J. Crew gift card.

Beauty Bit- Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Suede Lipstick vs. NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream

Matte Lipstick

Hey guys! I took some time off to do personal stuff last week, but I am back to bring you the battle of the matte lipsticks. I bought these lipsticks myself. The Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Suede Lipstick was less than $10, but the pack of three NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream was $12 at Urban Outfitters. The opponents , Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Suede Lipstick vs. NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream, fought really hard. Unfortunately I am not a fan of these lipsticks/lip creams. I was really intrigued by the colors and thought they would look great on, but the formula for both products is horrible, very drying, and peels like no other.

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I Will Be a Part of the IBM #MySmarterCommerce Campaign



I am so excited to give you this news. I wanted to tell you all about this earlier, but we had to wait for the ok to go! I, along with other bloggers, have been selected to know that IBM has invited me to partner with them on their #MySmarterCommerce campaign. Over the next 30 days I will share through my blog, Twitter, Youtube, and every other social media platform I have  what Smarter Commerce means to me. Feel free to interact with me on social media  and share your conversations. Please note that IBM will be monitoring all conversations, so try and keep it PG guys!  I hope you guys are ready for the #MySmarterCommerce movement because I am really excited! We haven’t received any compensation for this campaign, but as always, if things change I will let you know.

First Date Tips from Nicollette Mason And Hello Style

2013 is the year I finally get chose! I say that every year, but I am going to make this happen because my love life is always nonexistence. In the meantime, I’m going to take this first date tips and tricks that Nicollette Mason shared with Hello Style. They are really good tips for how to act and dress on a first date. Hopefully I will finally get to use them this year.

I’m Back From Monaco!!

Ok so I have been back for a week, but I needed some time to regroup and get myself together. For those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram, I went to Monaco and the French and Italian Rivera with my parents about two weeks ago. I never thought I would ever get to Europe because I was so afraid of flying. I never flew until I was 21 years old, and I will be 26 in January. I really haven’t been flying that long, so catching all those planes freaked me out a bit. I will say that I did better than expected.

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What Does…Exactly Make A Woman Sexy? - I am going to seduce you with my awkwardness

Just a random thought, but what does…exactly make a woman sexy? I’ve been trying to figure that out since I was in high school and all the girls in school suddenly emerged from puberty with a certain air around them that the boys seemed to notice. Whatever it was back then, my little clumsy, socially awkward, goody two shoes, abstinence believing self didn’t have it.

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Respect the Introvert!

This video is my ode to the introvert. As an introvert, I love being me. I do not want to be an extrovert, so stop trying to force your extroverted ways on me. There is nothing wrong with being an extrovert, but come on…being an extrovert is not the only way to be in the world. So this video is going to do exactly what the graphic says it is going to do…show you how to care and respect the introvert! Photo from Tumblr.

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I’m In Love With Mirrored Furniture

Mirrored Vanity Table and Mirrored Chair

I am in love with mirrored furniture. When I think of mirrored furniture, I think of Art Deco, old Hollywood screen goddesses, and Paris. I think of sitting down to one of these mirrored vanity tables in a silk robe or kimono and putting powder on with a giant powder puff. Maybe I am putting on bloody rouge lipstick? While perusing Pinterest, I saw this mirrored vanity table and vanity seat from Horchow. You can really waste a good amount of time pinning things and looking at other pictures. I don’t care though. Where else can I get wedding, food, home, baby,etc, etc inspiration from all in one neatly organized little place? Photo from Horchow.

My Vision Board Is Making Me Very Emotional


Reworking or adding to and taking away things from your vision board can sure make you emotional. I am always talking about vision boards. Always. I love them. When I started them a few years ago, I had no idea how influential they would be on my life. I am almost on the verge of tears looking at some of the things that I have done and finished and some of the things I have yet to do and am steadily praying for to happen.  The tiny cork board is filled, basically too crowded for words, with post it notes, phrases, and pictures. Sometimes I wonder will I ever find love, will I move to NYC and be successful, will I ever fulfill my hopes, dreams, and desires? Something inside of me will always say no, but then something inside of me will always say yes. Not just because I pray for these things to happen, but because I walk by my vision board each day, and see the things that I have achieved and the things I will achieve. Photo from here.